To say that it has been quiet around here lately is a monumental understatement. As a matter of fact, the dust is an inch thick and I’ve had to shake out the rugs and battle the cobwebs. At least a couple of you have noticed the prolonged silence and emailed with a thoughtful, “What’s up.” I am profoundly grateful for those communications. It prevents me, at times, from slipping too deeply into my own issues and trials. Thanks.
The past year has been tough for me. A diagnosis of anemia, followed by months of declining instead of improving, has taken its toll. I do not care to relive the specifics, but suffice it to say, it has affected me profoundly. A dear friend who has gone through the same struggle recently confessed, “It’s a dark, dark time.” Yep. That about sums it up. Waking up every day for a year feeling exhausted and run down, and yet having a plethora of never-ending responsibilities on the to-do list drains the fun out of things a just a bit. After months of fighting for joy it becomes easier to throw your hands up in defeat and accept a joy-less existence. My faith has been tested and I am ashamed to say, I have failed multiple times.
But I have learned a few things. God is so gracious to meet us in our trials and gently lead us to a greater knowledge of Him. God is so gracious to allow us trials that we might see Him with our own eyes, instead of relying on our perceived super-human selves. I am not a super-human, multitasking, got-it-together girl. Not at all. But thankfully I do serve a super-powerful, omnipresent, loving, universe-creating God who cares about me.
So while I try a new doctor and plan to do something more drastic than change my diet and drink metallic-tasting iron supplements twice a day, I will rest in my loving God. I will rest in the fact that He has ordained all these days for His glory and my good. I will rest in the God “who always leads us in triumph in Christ,” even when the path lies through dark times.
Praise the Lord.